Numb

Strange not knowing what to write but having so many thoughts running around my mind. I am someone who normally writes about everything and anything but recently only have one word for my feelings/hands and that is numb.

I want to write, I want to express my feelings/emotions but don’t know how to as I am not sure of the emotions I am feeling myself.

Blogging hasn’t stopped for me, it is on pause whilst I put my mind first, figure out my emotions and then will be able to write away. Currently my mind is filled with memories/emotions of my pops who will forever be with me and I am sure is going to follow me round on my journey.

Remember, if you aren’t up for speaking, aren’t up for doing anything, that is ok. Not everyday is going to be like that, just the day you are on. Put yourself first, put your mental health first and take day by day and minute by minute.

Be proud of getting through each day.

Spa

Time alone has always been a challenge seen by myself, a challenge I never felt too happy to participate in as I am sure many of us feel the same about, right?

A year on I have spent a whole day in a spa as well as many other moments alone, however, the spa was the first time alone and the first time I truly relaxed doing the things I wanted to do NOT what I thought looked better to be seen. I spent the day reading a book, relaxing in a swimming costume and robe not giving a f*** of people’s opinions and I enjoyed two treatments without my phone beside me vibrating notification. Just me, myself and I.

I now see time on my own as self love, self care and an enjoyable way to spend it. If you don’t like time alone give yourself some little tasks to get use to it because honestly once you start enjoying it, your life changes in many positive ways. Ultimately you only have YOU, so allow yourself to look after you.

Whirlwind

Emotions high, anxiety rising, heart experiencing pain, guilt flowing, sadness simmering, whirlwind within my own mind. An experience I have never experienced, an experience able to consume the mind of 9427290 feelings. Trying to keep my s*** together, trying to hold myself together, trying to support others, trying to sleep throughout the night without interrupted thoughts, trying to keep my social life. Trying to write, mental blocks appearing each time, emotions getting involved, unable to write positive. Self- care being neglected, self-love being put on hold, consumed with those 9427580 feelings 24/7.

Using other experiences I have experienced to pull myself together, to remain with self- love, self- care, without those two parts working we couldn’t be the best version of ourselves and right now for the people around me and for the person within me I need to be this version. (She’s the best)

I will be back to writing as much as I can when my mind is able, I will not beat myself up on the days I can not write, I will allow my body to feel how it feels and move on to the next day as a new chapter.

Remember, be the best version of yourself, even when life is throwing challenges, YOU are important, you deserve self- love and self-care always, you do what you need to provide love to yourself before you provide all your love to others. YOU have got this.

Time Out

Mind rushing, thoughts processing, heart rate racing, irrational thoughts slowing rising, bursting emotions happening. Sometimes our minds are just TOO busy, it happens to all of us. When this happens sometimes it can feel there is no escape, there is no ‘time out.’

10 things I attend to do just to have ‘time out’ on those not so quiet days/weeks just to feel numb for a second, to escape for a minute or to purely focus on me for a slight moment:

1. Read a book (no1 every time)

2. Write a blog (even if there is nothing positive to write about)

3. Listen to music (sad or happy but music YOU enjoy)

4. Eat food (comforting as most of us know)

5. Take a shower or bath (use your favourite shower gel, shampoo and conditioner, self indulge)

6. Take a walk (not always my first choice if I am 100% honest BUT it never fails to help a down day)

7. Have a nap (always a good one)

8. Colouring (so many books you can get now for de-stressing give it a go)

9. Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while (someone who will make you smile)

10. Work (sometimes work seems like the last place we would like to be BUT it can be a great mind distraction and ‘time out’)

Human Masks

Most of us have the capability to put on a mask to hide the behind scene, sometimes we praise ourselves for this, however, should we not be wanting to share our real selves? I don’t necessarily mean share our stories, share our experiences, share our life’s with people we are not associated or who we simply don’t want to BUT I do mean share our emotions, share our day to day feelings whether that means happy, sad, excited, angry, proud or loving. Mental health has increased so much over the previous years and I believe mine partially happened due to having my pretence mask on and the pressure the mask had behind it.

Why don’t you try even just for 24 hours to show your real emotions, to show your real face, no mask, no over layer of emotions and just purely be you. You are an amazing beautiful human even if you aren’t happy every moment, let’s release the pressure of mental health and try and be open with one another. It is ok to not be ok and it is ok to be more than ok. You be YOU.

Challenges

Life gives us challenges purposely to test us, not to defeat us, not to break us but to show us how capable our body is for fighting them, staying strong and getting through all the challenges that arise only shows us how amazing we can truly be.

Sometimes it can be hard to accept this, to remember this, to even endure it, however, it’s something that must happen to make life easier, it is something we are ALL capable of if we believe in our bodies and mind.

Remember how strong of an individual you are, remember how much your mind and body can take and accept. Believe in yourself, be the strong person you can be and show all the kindness and love that you have to people around you that deserve it. (F*** the others)

Shining

Hey guys, I haven’t blogged in the last couple of days and I can’t today (fully.) I am having a day of pure happiness and I don’t want to waste a second of it, I am choosing to not write fully today as I am reunited with a special person in my life, I am choosing to eat ice cream, laugh my way down the road singing songs loudly instead. The message I want to get across in a short sentence is that it is important to choose ourselves and our mental health over anything else as remember, we only have ourselves ultimately. Surround yourself with positive people and positive vibes and your life will automatically become a better experience.

P. S anyone who is having a low day or gets them (as I do) that’s ok, it’ll be your turn to have a happy day tomorrow maybe, hang on in there, keep on going and remember, you do YOU. Self care is important for each individual, we all require a dose of self love so be kind and give it to yourself.