23.10.19

I find it so strange that I don’t have a 1000 words to write/to say (I normally do.) Obstacles are surrounding me and thoughts are processing through me but no words to type, no flow through the fingers to tap. Confused of how I am feeling, confused on the loyalty of people around me, confused on how I should be feeling and fully aware of the self care pal that I have dedicated time to build on my shoulder slowly shadowing away. (I will NOT allow this to happen)

Reading previous blogs, reminding myself a bad day is a bad day, one bad day does not mean several are about to follow. Reminding myself of the blogs I have read, the person I have become.

Telling myself: allow yourself to feel low, allow yourself to have an off day, allow yourself to process all the emotions you are feeling without beating yourself up about it. Life isn’t easy but it does not mean life cannot be kind.

Not every day, month, year will be a walk in the park and not every day, month, year will be a struggle, take day by day, month by month and year by year. Be grateful to be part of the world, to be part of the family you have around you, to be part of the friendship circle you have around you and to be the person you are.

I am aware the girl writing these blogs (moi) doesn’t have her sh** together 24/7 and doesn’t follow every bit of advice she is writing, however, she is learning and she is trying.

Putting yourself first, saying no to people who don’t deserve a yes, putting your needs first, not keeping quiet when you want to be loud and to not let unimportant problems take up so much space buzzing around. Currently I am struggling to keep these important pieces of life working, however, I am a 100% working at it.

As I’ve said the whole way through and what I keep needing to remind myself at the moment, ultimately the only person we have is ourselves. Be you, trust you, rely on you, care for YOU.

Spa

Time alone has always been a challenge seen by myself, a challenge I never felt too happy to participate in as I am sure many of us feel the same about, right?

A year on I have spent a whole day in a spa as well as many other moments alone, however, the spa was the first time alone and the first time I truly relaxed doing the things I wanted to do NOT what I thought looked better to be seen. I spent the day reading a book, relaxing in a swimming costume and robe not giving a f*** of people’s opinions and I enjoyed two treatments without my phone beside me vibrating notification. Just me, myself and I.

I now see time on my own as self love, self care and an enjoyable way to spend it. If you don’t like time alone give yourself some little tasks to get use to it because honestly once you start enjoying it, your life changes in many positive ways. Ultimately you only have YOU, so allow yourself to look after you.

Beauty Of Family

No family is perfect, no family doesn’t have drama’s including mine, although, my family, there MY definition of beauty.

Different life’s, different ‘homes, different friends, different personalities, different perceptions on life, different enjoyments and different life experiences, however, the true beauty of family is that we are all ONE.

We are a team, we have the same interest when it comes to one another and we certainly have the same fondness/love of one another. Friends, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, family will always be apart of you whether you speak or see each other regularly families will almost certainly pull together when needed and work as ONE.

Tears of enjoyment, tears of sadness, tears of anger, family are there, achievements passed, failures happened, family are there. Illness, newborn, hard times, good times, family are there. Days you cannot talk, family is there, days you cannot stop talking, family are there. Every member of your family will be leading a different day to day life, have a different priority list on day to day basis but ultimately, the beauty is when needed you will come back together as ONE.

If you are as lucky as me to have a family which make every morning a worthy day to wake up, to live, then take a minute, look at the memories, the moments you have shared, the tears you have cried together over happiness, over sadness and just take a minute to appreciate those certain people you are thinking about. They are your ‘fans,’ they are your top supporters and they love you more than any other human will ever. Don’t take family for granted, kiss goodnight, hug good morning, text regularly, keep in touch on the quiet days and support on good and bad days. Allow yourself to say I love you and allow yourself to feel loved. You and your family are ONE.

Rock being ONE, rock being a team and rock the love you share, its my definition of beauty.

Time Out

Mind rushing, thoughts processing, heart rate racing, irrational thoughts slowing rising, bursting emotions happening. Sometimes our minds are just TOO busy, it happens to all of us. When this happens sometimes it can feel there is no escape, there is no ‘time out.’

10 things I attend to do just to have ‘time out’ on those not so quiet days/weeks just to feel numb for a second, to escape for a minute or to purely focus on me for a slight moment:

1. Read a book (no1 every time)

2. Write a blog (even if there is nothing positive to write about)

3. Listen to music (sad or happy but music YOU enjoy)

4. Eat food (comforting as most of us know)

5. Take a shower or bath (use your favourite shower gel, shampoo and conditioner, self indulge)

6. Take a walk (not always my first choice if I am 100% honest BUT it never fails to help a down day)

7. Have a nap (always a good one)

8. Colouring (so many books you can get now for de-stressing give it a go)

9. Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while (someone who will make you smile)

10. Work (sometimes work seems like the last place we would like to be BUT it can be a great mind distraction and ‘time out’)

Appreciate

There are so many moments we let slip without a thought, crazy right?

The unique thing about life is that not one second ever repeats itself again. If we live our life with the perspective of it being our last day to live, appreciating the quiet moments, appreciating the hugs with a person we love, appreciating the laughter over a ‘crappy’ joke with our mate, appreciating the hungover days we spend with ourselves in bed… I would be here all day if I wrote a list of every moment we should appreciate but you get the message I’m sure.

Don’t take a second for granted, live every moment with the passion and gratitude as if it’s your last and each day should be a delight. 💫

Human Masks

Most of us have the capability to put on a mask to hide the behind scene, sometimes we praise ourselves for this, however, should we not be wanting to share our real selves? I don’t necessarily mean share our stories, share our experiences, share our life’s with people we are not associated or who we simply don’t want to BUT I do mean share our emotions, share our day to day feelings whether that means happy, sad, excited, angry, proud or loving. Mental health has increased so much over the previous years and I believe mine partially happened due to having my pretence mask on and the pressure the mask had behind it.

Why don’t you try even just for 24 hours to show your real emotions, to show your real face, no mask, no over layer of emotions and just purely be you. You are an amazing beautiful human even if you aren’t happy every moment, let’s release the pressure of mental health and try and be open with one another. It is ok to not be ok and it is ok to be more than ok. You be YOU.

Hospitals Outlook

Recently I have spent more time than I have anticipated or wanted in hospitals looking over people I love. When walking in to a hospital our sudden mind process is dread, nerves or just seems to be a sudden jump to general negativity, understandably of course.

Hospital staff running around, relatives waiting for staff to arrive to there relatives, people crying, people shouting, people hugging or people smiling, it all happens within the walls of a hospital surrounded by the staff of the NHS. Hospitals have a spectacular way of bringing a families close together, bringing people who wouldn’t necessarily be together, together. Each person’s priority becomes the same one, we work as a team, we communicate as a team and we support as a team. Family members visiting walking is seen as ‘normal,’ however, not all patients will have a family around there beds/bays. (If you can pass a smile to a stranger on a hospital bed, then do so, it may be the only smile they get all day, be that kind person you know you rock at being.)

Hospitals bring people closer, hospitals and the staff within the walls help patients get better, help patients eat, help patients function throughout there days and help us be able to keep the people we love around us.

Don’t take a second for granted, don’t take the NHS for granted and certainly try and walk down the next hospital corridor noticing not only the sad parts but also all the love surrounding the walls, surrounding the bays and surrounding the patients, it’s magical when you look at it from that perspective.