Yesterday

There is no guidebook, there is no handy guide on how to deal with a day like yesterday. You had to deal with it your own way, there was no correct way.

Tears strolling, sore eyes, shaky hands, emotions rushing through you like never before, fear passing in and out. Arms everywhere around one another, taps on the shoulders, smiles seen under the watery eyes, love floating around.

Thoughts such as ‘he would be proud,’ ‘he would loved to have been here, seen us all together.’ Conversations happening with subjects starting with ‘imagine if he was here he would be….’

Drinks going down, food being eaten, conversations happening, laughter starting to be heard. A day of beauty with the meaning of such sadness.

If you could have a snap polaroid picture of yesterday, it would show love no matter what angle the picture was taken from.

You have to handle a day like yesterday your own way, your own style and in your own path. If you feel hurt, allow it, if you feel numb that is ok, if you feel sad then release it and if you feel a relieve of getting to say goodbye then accept that.

For me, you will always be my pops, you will always be my grandad. I currently am hurt, I am currently sad but yesterday was beautiful for you and I know inside you would have loved seeing us all together. You’ll be forever in my life, in the stories I tell. One day we’ll meet again.

Spa

Time alone has always been a challenge seen by myself, a challenge I never felt too happy to participate in as I am sure many of us feel the same about, right?

A year on I have spent a whole day in a spa as well as many other moments alone, however, the spa was the first time alone and the first time I truly relaxed doing the things I wanted to do NOT what I thought looked better to be seen. I spent the day reading a book, relaxing in a swimming costume and robe not giving a f*** of people’s opinions and I enjoyed two treatments without my phone beside me vibrating notification. Just me, myself and I.

I now see time on my own as self love, self care and an enjoyable way to spend it. If you don’t like time alone give yourself some little tasks to get use to it because honestly once you start enjoying it, your life changes in many positive ways. Ultimately you only have YOU, so allow yourself to look after you.

Beauty Of Family

No family is perfect, no family doesn’t have drama’s including mine, although, my family, there MY definition of beauty.

Different life’s, different ‘homes, different friends, different personalities, different perceptions on life, different enjoyments and different life experiences, however, the true beauty of family is that we are all ONE.

We are a team, we have the same interest when it comes to one another and we certainly have the same fondness/love of one another. Friends, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, family will always be apart of you whether you speak or see each other regularly families will almost certainly pull together when needed and work as ONE.

Tears of enjoyment, tears of sadness, tears of anger, family are there, achievements passed, failures happened, family are there. Illness, newborn, hard times, good times, family are there. Days you cannot talk, family is there, days you cannot stop talking, family are there. Every member of your family will be leading a different day to day life, have a different priority list on day to day basis but ultimately, the beauty is when needed you will come back together as ONE.

If you are as lucky as me to have a family which make every morning a worthy day to wake up, to live, then take a minute, look at the memories, the moments you have shared, the tears you have cried together over happiness, over sadness and just take a minute to appreciate those certain people you are thinking about. They are your ‘fans,’ they are your top supporters and they love you more than any other human will ever. Don’t take family for granted, kiss goodnight, hug good morning, text regularly, keep in touch on the quiet days and support on good and bad days. Allow yourself to say I love you and allow yourself to feel loved. You and your family are ONE.

Rock being ONE, rock being a team and rock the love you share, its my definition of beauty.