Space Out

At the beginning of the year I was told my two best friends were going to be away at the same time for 3 months, this led to my anxiety levels rising instantly. My head automatically filling up with anxious thoughts such as ‘f***, what am I going to do,’ ‘how will I feel being single and not having the two people I spend most of my time with,’ ‘will my anxiety arise again.’ It got to the point of tears and many nights allowing myself to get anxious. I realised one evening quite close to them leaving how much I had relied on my friends to keep me up, keep me going and keep my calendar full since I became single – avoiding ME time.

(Don’t get me wrong with what I am about to say, I have missed my pals SO much and can’t wait to reunite and spend most days with one or the other, however…..)

I don’t know what I was so scared about, honestly! ME time has become f****** great. I have met new friends, I have got closer to previous friends, I have read 4 books, I have spent time with my grandparents more than the average amount, I have learnt to not give a f*** about others opinions, I have learnt to not stress as much and I have enjoyed most of all ME. I am no longer scared to be alone, I no longer need to plan every second in my diary. I enjoy me, I am still learning to love me and understand me but I am a hell of a lot closer than before my girls left. Sometimes things happen in life for a reason and I am happy this happened for me, remember, you only have you, give yourself some time, learn about yourself and ultimately realise how frickin amazing you are.

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